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You have a tube down your throat to help you breathe. I love you Even. Blink your eyes if you can hear me.’ I blinked my eyes, as more tears flowed. She kissed my eyes, as she kissed my tears away. She cried happy tears. ‘Even blink twice for no and three times for yes.’ ‘Do you need pain medication?’ I blinked three times. ‘Blink once if the pain is severe, twice if it is very severe, three times if it is unbearable.’ I blinked three times. ‘I’m going to get the nurse, I’ll be right back.’ I started blinking twice, repeatedly, not wanting her to leave me. I needed her beside me. I needed to reconnect with life, after the dark of nothingness. I know I preferred the church’s version of hell, with its’ fire and brimstone, then what I had just been through. Nothing is terrifying. Nothing would drive anyone insane. Nothing should be reserved for the likes of the mass murderers: Lenin, Stalin, Hitler, Perone, Amin, Stakic, and Milosevic. They deserve each other, and NOTHINGNESS! I felt. *That couldn’t be it. I had sworn of sex. Mike didn’t know. He had asked about his father once, but I had just mumbled something about him being dead. That wasn’t true. The evil asshole who had raped me was still alive. I knew because he had tried contacting me years before. We had talked and the man even sent me money, but told me one day he’d like to meet his son. There was no apology given for what he had done. *Can we talk at dinner?**Yeah, why wouldn’t we? Are you going to stay downstairs for that?**Yes**Okay. When?**Ten minutes. Don’t be late*I almost backed out of getting dinner. My nerves so worked that I had returned to my room while the stew finished. In my room, I was a complete mess with what I was about to do. Tell Mike about his father. There was a surety that Mike would hate me for sure when I told told him about his father. Maybe I wanted to finally open up to someone about it.After ten minutes, I returned to the kitchen to prepare the plates while my heart raced. I.
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